Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

My friend sent me this, and I found it hilarious (and very accurate at times). However, he revised the interpretations of the lines for men, and I like them much better. So here is the edited version:

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given by Women (and what they actually mean..)

10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance”)
9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You are one Jurassic geezer)
8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes upon)
7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else you
may hear phone calls from all the other guys I’m seeing)
6. I’ve got a boyfriend (who’s really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben & Jerry’s)
5. I don’t date men where I work (Hey bud, I wouldn’t even date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building)
4. It’s not you, it’s me (It’s not me, it’s you)
3. I’m concentrating on my career (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I’m celibate. (I’ve sworn off *only* the men like you.)

…..and the #1 rejection line given by women (and what it actually means)

1. Let’s be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with.

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given by Men (and what they actually mean...)

10. I think of you as a sister (I've thought about doing you, but I just can't picture it in my head. As I tell you this right now, I'm thinking about doing you...it still ain't workin' out)
9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (I can't picture you as a MILF)
8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You’re ugly)
7. My life is too complicated right now. (You talk too much)
6. I’ve got a girlfriend (You’re ugly) - I dunno why a guy would ever say this if the girl was hot
5. I don't date women where I work (You're ugly)
4. It’s not you, it’s me (My girlfriend is on to us)
3. I’m concentrating on my career (You talk way too damn much)
2. I'm celibate (No man would ever use this)

…..and the #1 rejection line given by men (and what it actually means)

1. Let’s be friends (After many attempts at thinking about doing you, in a variety of different positions, and scenarios, I have failed on behalf of my gender and must now place you into the un-doable category) - also see "I think of you as a sister"