On the Nature and Importance of Relationships

I've been thinking hard recently on the nature of romantic relationships and how important they are in one's life. At this stage in life people are just getting into serious relationships, and for many they are still not on the radar. The, shall we say, unlucky few who must transition from their first serious relationship into singledom again come across two factions: the people who say, in response to your plight, that they're so glad they aren't interested in a serious relationship, or the people who pity you without really being fully aware of the emotional roller-coaster you're on. Perhaps I'm generalizing and glossing over the few who can commiserate with you, and maybe I'm being to hard on the people that just don't know what you're going through, but you just don't know how inadequate that kind of pity, no matter how good-natured, is until you're in the situation yourself. Even then, it might not even be possible to fully understand what the person is going through.

However, this is not meant to be a bash-fest on people who try to help (because they really are great) but a caution to the others, the people who don't recognize the greatness of a committed relationship. I recently had a conversation with some people about this, and they both agreed that they were glad not to be in a relationship because of the potential heartache involved. It was an "I'm so glad I missed that accident" tone. Were they right in thinking that? I thought. Is this type of relationship something to be avoided? Well, clearly the ending of it is, because of the pain. But does the pain of a breakup negate all the good stuff about the relationship preceding it?

Most people would immediately say no, even people who aren't ready to be in a serious relationship now. Everyone has at least some kind of misty-eyed vision of a future love, a committed, happy relationship with the person who "completes you". But do people really think about what it means if that idyllic relationship ends? It hurts, it's a blow to the self-esteem, and it almost never ends how you thought it would. However, people who might want to avoid relationships for fear of the pain of a breakup miss out on so much more. A relationship gives you a chance to grow, emotionally and otherwise. No matter how long or how short, how bad or how good, there is always something to be learned from a relationship, about yourself, about your interests, desires, goals, needs or about how you can better interact with another. Giving up that chance to learn about yourself for fear of being hurt is almost like giving up going to college for fear of being far from home.

A relationship is also more than that. It gives you a feeling of utter elation that can be felt in no other way. It is being almost drunk with love and happiness and doing silly things because of it. It really is one of the best feelings in the world to think the world of someone, and it is something far greater to know that they feel the same way for you.

Relationships end, not always happily, and the longer they lasted the harder it is to overcome the emotion you had and the pain you feel from losing the person that was once so special to you. But the net worth of a relationship is so definitively positive that avoiding it prevents you from experiencing one of the greatest gifts of life.

Don't waste it.

Acceptance :D

Although I found this out on Wednesday, I didn't have time to post. I'd been waiting for an email from the Heinz School notifying me if I got accepted into the Accelerated Master's Program, and I DID! I was getting worried because people had already gotten their letters. Personally, I think it's quite unprofessional to send out the letters over the period of a month or more, leaving people anxious and frustrated when they have sit and hear the good news of other people, feeling their chances sink (in their minds). I was worried that I'd be rejected, and I realized during that time that I had, albeit unconsciously, set myself up to assume I'd be getting the good letter. I hadn't really planned for any alternatives, which I realize now was not the best idea. But it's moot, because I did get in, and am 99.9% sure I'm going. Which means.... that I'll be in Pittsburgh another year. Regardless of people giving their condolences (which I find annoying) I like Pittsburgh and am happy to spend another year living here. I've always had roots here, and I feel like I've grown even more over the past three years. I'm proud to be a resident of this city, and it will be a sad day when I move from it.

My fate being thus determined (at least for the next two years), I felt a surge of relief. On that score anyway. This week was torture, though nearly not as bad as last semester. I had three exams, two over two hours long, and a set of papers due for my philosophy class on Nietzsche and Kierkegaard. It's such a rush when everything is finally done, and you can finally relax.

And by relax, I mean at the BEACH! On Saturday my friends and I are taking a road trip to South Carolina to spend the week bumming around enjoying each other's company. This will be the first Spring Break I've spent with girls. :) Kinda crazy, yeah? It will be a marked change from the last two years, and I think I'm going to enjoy myself immensely (not that I didn't in previous years).

Anxious

Today is the 1st of March, which wouldn't be an eventful day in any other year but this year has given me jitters. It marks the beginning of the end of the interim time between applying to the Heinz School and hearing back from them. In January I applied for the accelerated master's program in public policy, and I knew that I wouldn't hear back before March 1st. However, because it is the 1st, all the anxiety that I had been stoically ignoring in February can no longer be suppressed. It will be such a great opportunity if I am accepted, and I should be hearing back in a week or so! Hence the nervousness. Wish me luck!